It has been a week.
I scattered mom and dad’s ashes in Nestorville, WV. A little in the cemetery, a little along the creek that ran past our house. Was I sad? Yes. But taking care of mom in her final days gave me closure pretty quickly. I saw her deteriorate. I saw how much pain she was in. And yes, I was relieved when I found her not breathing. Because I knew she wasn’t suffering anymore. So, closure.
I stayed an extra day in Elkins, at the Inn, because I could, and then ventured down to Lewisburg, WV to see my uncle, mom’s brother in law. I’d never driven this route alone, so I tried to find the route that was most direct and did not go around Droop mountain. I have very clear memories of puking on the drive over Droop mountain.
And dammed if I didn’t end up on Droop mountain. Sigh. But I didn’t puke, so go me!
The perk of coming into Lewisburg that way was that I passed by Renick, where my mom was born and where she lived in her youth, so I went ahead and stopped to scatter the other half of the ashes. I put some along the Greenbrier River, where mom and her family used to bathe and play, and the rest in Morningside Cemetery, by her parents’ grave. It was such an odd feeling to scatter the last of the ashes. Mom and Dad are officially gone. Capital G. Yes, I have my urn, with their ashes, but they are no longer sitting in boxes in two separate houses.
My parents are dead. Both of them. I know a lot of people have had both of their parents die. I am not special. But this is so new and different. What the hell is my life anymore?
I could get all introspective, but I’m not gonna. You’re welcome.
After the scattering, I found my way to my 90 year old uncle’s house. His house is so familiar, yet so strange without Mama there. I’d never stayed with him alone. But my uncle can talk for hours straight so there was no lag in conversation or awkwardness. And the funny thing about older folks – if you just let them talk, it’s amazing what you can learn. I wished I’d had that insight when I was younger. I also had lunch with with one of Mama’s friends from high school and talking with her, and hearing how sweet and kind my grandma Jessie was, just made the trip that much more special.
I spent two nights with the uncle, then woke up to snow on Thursday, March 12. I knew they had a chance of snow in their forecast, but just like anyone who’s been on this earth for 50 years, I didn’t believe it. The weather people are morons.
Oh, but not this time.
I drove four hours, from Lewisburg, WV to Colonial Beach, VA and it was a white-knuckle drive the entire time. The speed limit on I-64 is 70mph. We were lucky to do 50mph. The sensors on my rental SUV crapped out because so much snow had accumulated on them they couldn’t register anymore. I cannot stress to you how bad this drive was. But you know what? I made it to Colonial Beach. I didn’t get in a wreck, I didn’t break down (mechanically or mentally). That evening, in my gratitude journal, I wrote “I am grateful that I am a strong, confident, brave woman who knows she can do anything she sets her mind to.” My mama would be proud. Though, I was cursing her the entire drive. “I hope you’re happy, woman! It’s all for you!”
Got to Colonial Beach and found my aunt’s house. She lost her husband, my uncle Tom, my mom’s brother, in July of 2025. She was so happy to see me, and honestly? I felt more at home at her house that I had at Elkins or at my uncle’s. My aunt is blunt, snarky, and doesn’t hold back. Just like my mama. I’d never had an opportunity to be with just her – away from all other family – and I enjoyed myself so much. The fact that she has four of the freakin’ cutest dogs doesn’t hurt.
It was a quick stay in Colonial Beach, and I left early Friday morning for La Plata, MD where the infamous Redheads reside. In truth, it’s where my mama’s sister, Judy, lived, and where her children and grandchildren now live. Judy’s daughters, Dee Dee and Tricia, and Dee Dee’s daughter Kristin, and I are tight. Like, woven from the same Amish wool tight. And we share the Lacey drinking gene. Mama used to give me such a hard time when all of us would get together. Well, you know what, Mama? You’re not here now! But we’re all much older so here I am, ALONE, at 10:30pm on a Saturday night (AHEM) blogging, while Dee Dee is in bed because we stayed up until 1am last night drinking white wine and laughing our asses off.
Where was I?
Oh yes.
Tricia is sick, so she’s excused. Until our next visit. Then she better make up for it.
I feel very at home here. Mom and I would make the drive her almost every time I’d go home to visit them in Belington, WV. I haven’t seen Kristin in probably seven or eight years, but once we’re together, not a day has passed. We know each other’s senses of humor, we have our inside jokes, and the whole time I’m here, I keep wishing that we living closer together.
Then I wake up the next morning, hungover so bad I can’t see straight, and I thank the heavens that we do not live closer together. Whew. But it’s always a fun vacation.
Just a couple more days, then I fly out Monday to Houston, TX. Someone said “You hop around like a chicken on a hot rock!” Hee. Looking forward to seeing some of mom’s old work friends, and my godmothers. Cause when you’re me, you need more than one godmother. Right?